I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How external is "for external use only"?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
