My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
