i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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