these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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