No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize