goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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