these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
