Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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