she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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