Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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