She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
