The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
