hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
