I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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