Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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