honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize