I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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