How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
