i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
