heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
