Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
