You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
