Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
