How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
