He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
