ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No subtext here. People are naked.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
