just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize