i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
