I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
