Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
