so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
