Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize