today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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