its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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