You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
