Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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