cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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