how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
