me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He kissed a someone with a penis
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
