We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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