at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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