he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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