I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
