I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
