I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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