I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize