how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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