i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
