No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
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