She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
