so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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