she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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