i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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