i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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