The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
